So... I'm tired. My mind, body and soul are tired, and finally I'm starting to realize it's a lot more than sleep I need. What I definitely don't need is to watch another movie or listen to more music. I do enough of those things. I don't need more "hang out time" with this friend or that. I don't need to debate this or to think more about that and I certainly don't need a break from work or "real life" to serve myself and my own selfish desires.
Paul tells me that there is a surpassing worth: Knowing Christ and the power of His resurrection. I need to know Jesus so much more than I need sleep or comforts or relevance. Right now I need time in the Word and time in prayer. I need to immerse myself in His words of truth and merely in Him and forget about everything else around me, everything that's distracting me from my one and only purpose: To worship and give glory to the Holy, Good and Triune God. Let me explain further.
I'm realizing that so often I want (and seek after, and pursue) all the trappings of "church" and "worship" and "relationship" without the substance. Without Christ. I'm a white-washed tomb and I love the whiteness of my tomb and I love to talk about how white it is and why it's white and what the whiteness means. That's what I do. I talk about how nice my tomb is, its purpose and its calling and what its worth is to the tombstones around it, while all the while I'm dead inside.
For a baser example: Pretend that I go everywhere wearing a Beatles t-shirt. I love the Beatles, I talk incessantly about the genius of their music and song-writing and the impact they've had on rock and roll music and on my own life. All the while John Lennon is staying on my couch and wants to be my best friend. But, rather than thanking John for the music he's made and the things his songs have meant to me personally, let alone sharing a cup of coffee with him or seeing the symphony together or actually trying to form a meaningful relationship, the only thing I'll say to him is to ask him to clean my toilet after I've failed to flush yet again. And oh, John Lennon is actually my dad. For my entire life he's given me the roof over my head, the food I eat and the shirt on my back in addition to The White Album and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
I talk about the Church and its Mission and the Kingdom and my Calling, but I don't talk to Jesus. I forget that it's for His Glory and not for my enjoyment that He has given us the good things in this world. I forget that it's for His Glory and not for my safety and comfort that He hung on a tree. I forget that He is alive and loves me and wants to make me new. In fact, He already has.
But most of all it seems I forget that while He lovingly, graciously and freely gives me all things, He wants me to desire only Himself.
Paul tells me that there is a surpassing worth: Knowing Christ and the power of His resurrection. I need to know Jesus so much more than I need sleep or comforts or relevance. Right now I need time in the Word and time in prayer. I need to immerse myself in His words of truth and merely in Him and forget about everything else around me, everything that's distracting me from my one and only purpose: To worship and give glory to the Holy, Good and Triune God. Let me explain further.
I'm realizing that so often I want (and seek after, and pursue) all the trappings of "church" and "worship" and "relationship" without the substance. Without Christ. I'm a white-washed tomb and I love the whiteness of my tomb and I love to talk about how white it is and why it's white and what the whiteness means. That's what I do. I talk about how nice my tomb is, its purpose and its calling and what its worth is to the tombstones around it, while all the while I'm dead inside.
For a baser example: Pretend that I go everywhere wearing a Beatles t-shirt. I love the Beatles, I talk incessantly about the genius of their music and song-writing and the impact they've had on rock and roll music and on my own life. All the while John Lennon is staying on my couch and wants to be my best friend. But, rather than thanking John for the music he's made and the things his songs have meant to me personally, let alone sharing a cup of coffee with him or seeing the symphony together or actually trying to form a meaningful relationship, the only thing I'll say to him is to ask him to clean my toilet after I've failed to flush yet again. And oh, John Lennon is actually my dad. For my entire life he's given me the roof over my head, the food I eat and the shirt on my back in addition to The White Album and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
I talk about the Church and its Mission and the Kingdom and my Calling, but I don't talk to Jesus. I forget that it's for His Glory and not for my enjoyment that He has given us the good things in this world. I forget that it's for His Glory and not for my safety and comfort that He hung on a tree. I forget that He is alive and loves me and wants to make me new. In fact, He already has.
But most of all it seems I forget that while He lovingly, graciously and freely gives me all things, He wants me to desire only Himself.
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.
Philippians 3:7-8
Comments
How can I not quote Augustine: "O God, our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee."
Thanks for the great post.